Saturday, 15 February 2014

Michael Jordan Is An Absolute Asshole?

Greetings, dear friends. It's been a while. Fresh off an extensive break from sharing my solid gold opinions on this informative super highway of ours, I thought I might once again dip my fungal-infected toes in the tepid pond of the intraweb. It is my intention to work myself up to finally writing my letter to Jay Electronica after the horrific experience of seeing him 'performing' live last year (long story), but more recently I have once again felt the urge to write due to being inspired by the deluded ravings and bad grammar of certain blog-happy-know-it-alls that continuously talk utter shite about things that they clearly know nothing about. You know who you are. Anyway, I digress. Onto the feature presentation : ARSEHOLE?

I am a massive Michael Jordan fan. Alway have been, always will be. He is the greatest Basketball player of all time. This is an indisputable fact. It's not just the numbers he put up that made him the greatest, however; for many years people have been quick to pinpoint his unparalleled drive to win and his inhuman competitive spirit as the foundation for the super human feats that he achieved during his storied career.

Having fiercely guarded his personal life and opinions over the years due to the scrutinising and invasive nature of the media glare that was constantly upon him for so many years, coupled with the general reverence that he has always been shown by fans and critics alike, it was only a matter of time before stories of the more nauseating side of his nature became apparent. Below follows a short selection of tales from reliable sources which give a slight glimpse into the man that I and many others have idolised for such a long time.

I still love Mike, don't get me wrong, but after reading these little (lifted) tidbits I can't help but imagine that the man is most likely a complete c*nt. The moral of the story : don't rely on your idols to actually be nice people. We've all been there (Can anyone say Raekwon The Chef? What a knob).

  Text lifted from http://bleacherreport.com/.


In the Bulls’ first-round battle against the Charlotte Hornets in 1995 after Jordan’s highly touted comeback to the NBA, Jordan didn’t hesitate to leave his mark. According to former Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach, Jordan was guarding Muggsy Bogues (who was all of 5 foot 3) when this happened: On the biggest possession of the game, Muggsy had the ball with the Hornets down one. Jordan backed off of him and told him, 'Shoot it, you f***ing midget.' Muggsy shot it, didn’t come close. A year later Muggsy actually told Johnny Bach that he believes that single play ruined his career. His shot never recovered. The next year, Bogues’ career certainly started to decline. Whether or not Jordan was the primary reason for this is up to debate.


Rodney McCray joined the Chicago Bulls in the 1992-1993 season at the age of 31. He was a very serviceable forward who had just averaged 16.6 points and 8.2 rebounds three years prior. Eager to win a title, he was willing to come off the bench to help the Bulls. He had no idea what would come next. When asked by Sports Illustrated, a former teammate of Michael Jordan had this to say: 'He's the most viciously competitive player I've ever seen. That's what makes him, I think, the greatest player ever. He has practically ruined [reserve forward] Rodney McCray for us.' When the two players are on opposite teams in scrimmages, the source says, "[ Jordan] is in Rodney's face, screaming, 'You're a loser! You've always been a loser!' Rodney can hardly put up a jumper now.’ McCray ended up winning a title that year, but only averaged 15.9 minutes per game. It was also the last season he ever played.


Kwame Brown has become one of the biggest NBA draft busts of all time. He stands as one example of young talented phenoms who never lived up to their hype. However, his situation as a Washington Wizard certainly wasn’t helped by the general manager who drafted him. In a Sports Illustrated article by L. Jon Wertheim: As a leader Jordan proved more tormentor than mentor. Many Washington players got the business end of a Jordan harangue, but he designated second-year forward Kwame Brown as the whipping boy…A source told SI that Jordan ritually reduced Brown to tears in front of the team. The article continues that Jordan called Kwame Brown expletives, including homophobic remarks, according to The Washington Post.


The 1993 NBA Finals was a showdown between two of NBA’s biggest superstars of all time: Charles Barkley of the Phoenix Suns and Michael Jordan of the Bulls. They were also great friends who went golfing together in the middle of the championship series. According to Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach: The day before game 4 of the Bulls Suns finals with the Bulls leading the series 2-1. Michael and Charles Barkley went golfing. They played 48 holes of golf. And Michael bought Charles a $20,000 diamond earring. Johnny asked MJ, “what did you do all that for?” Michael responded, “he won’t get in my way the rest of the series, what’s $20,000 to me? Charles thinks we’re great friends. I hate that fat f—.” Jordan dropped 55 in game 4 and Barkley never touched him once.

Another example of MJ parring off one of his supposed best friends is below, something that he vehemently denied after Pip snitched on him. Seems far more believable now though.

And finally, his Hall Of Fame Induction speech is the icing on the cake. He's still a legend, he'll always be a legend, but lord almighty the man sounds like an insufferable prick . Test below lifted from an article by Rick Reilly @ ESPN.com. Full piece HERE.

Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame talk was the Exxon Valdez of speeches. It was, by turns, rude, vindictive and flammable. And that was just when he was trying to be funny. It was tactless, egotistical and unbecoming. When it was done, nobody wanted to be like Mike. In the entire 23-minute cringe-athon, there were only six thank yous, seven if you count his sarcastic rip at the very Hall that was inducting him. "Thank you, Hall of Fame, for raising ticket prices, I guess," he sneered.

By comparison, David Robinson's classy and heartfelt seven-minute speech had 17. Joe Montana's even shorter speech in Canton had 23. Who wrote your speech Mike? Kanye West? Nobody was spared, including his high school coach, his high school teammate, his college coach, two of his pro coaches, his college roommate, his pro owner, his pro general manager, the man who was presenting him that evening, even his kids! "I wouldn't want to be you guys if I had to," he said as they squirmed in their seats.

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