A Bit Of Light Reading

Following on from my personally revelatory research into the theories surrounding Michael Jordan being a douchebag, I have just begun reading this book and am halfway through already. More fuel to the fire. It’s actually pretty well written and comes highly recommended if you like this sort of thing.

Far from being a coherent unit bursting at the seams with selflessness and brotherly love, it paints the Bulls to be a bunch of underpaid, whinging tossers who are constantly back biting each other and living in the eternal fear of being traded. So far nobody has come off worse than Jordan. I’m halfway through the book, which on the timeline equals halfway through the season, and as the situation currently stands it seems incredibly unlikely that they are going to win the championship.

Only they did. 23 years ago. Pretty trippy stuff, dude. 

Michael Jordan Is An Absolute Asshole?

Greetings, dear friends. It's been a while. Fresh off an extensive break from sharing my solid gold opinions on this informative super highway of ours, I thought I might once again dip my fungal-infected toes in the tepid pond of the intraweb. It is my intention to work myself up to finally writing my letter to Jay Electronica after the horrific experience of seeing him 'performing' live last year (long story), but more recently I have once again felt the urge to write due to being inspired by the deluded ravings and bad grammar of certain blog-happy-know-it-alls that continuously talk utter shite about things that they clearly know nothing about. You know who you are. Anyway, I digress. Onto the feature presentation : ARSEHOLE?

I am a massive Michael Jordan fan. Alway have been, always will be. He is the greatest Basketball player of all time. This is an indisputable fact. It's not just the numbers he put up that made him the greatest, however; for many years people have been quick to pinpoint his unparalleled drive to win and his inhuman competitive spirit as the foundation for the super human feats that he achieved during his storied career.

Having fiercely guarded his personal life and opinions over the years due to the scrutinising and invasive nature of the media glare that was constantly upon him for so many years, coupled with the general reverence that he has always been shown by fans and critics alike, it was only a matter of time before stories of the more nauseating side of his nature became apparent. Below follows a short selection of tales from reliable sources which give a slight glimpse into the man that I and many others have idolised for such a long time.

I still love Mike, don't get me wrong, but after reading these little (lifted) tidbits I can't help but imagine that the man is most likely a complete c*nt. The moral of the story : don't rely on your idols to actually be nice people. We've all been there (Can anyone say Raekwon The Chef? What a knob).

  Text lifted from http://bleacherreport.com/.

POOR MUGGSY BOGUES

In the Bulls’ first-round battle against the Charlotte Hornets in 1995 after Jordan’s highly touted comeback to the NBA, Jordan didn’t hesitate to leave his mark. According to former Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach, Jordan was guarding Muggsy Bogues (who was all of 5 foot 3) when this happened: On the biggest possession of the game, Muggsy had the ball with the Hornets down one. Jordan backed off of him and told him, 'Shoot it, you f***ing midget.' Muggsy shot it, didn’t come close. A year later Muggsy actually told Johnny Bach that he believes that single play ruined his career. His shot never recovered. The next year, Bogues’ career certainly started to decline. Whether or not Jordan was the primary reason for this is up to debate.


POOR RODNEY MCCRAY

Rodney McCray joined the Chicago Bulls in the 1992-1993 season at the age of 31. He was a very serviceable forward who had just averaged 16.6 points and 8.2 rebounds three years prior. Eager to win a title, he was willing to come off the bench to help the Bulls. He had no idea what would come next. When asked by Sports Illustrated, a former teammate of Michael Jordan had this to say: 'He's the most viciously competitive player I've ever seen. That's what makes him, I think, the greatest player ever. He has practically ruined [reserve forward] Rodney McCray for us.' When the two players are on opposite teams in scrimmages, the source says, "[ Jordan] is in Rodney's face, screaming, 'You're a loser! You've always been a loser!' Rodney can hardly put up a jumper now.’ McCray ended up winning a title that year, but only averaged 15.9 minutes per game. It was also the last season he ever played.

POOR KWAME BROWN

Kwame Brown has become one of the biggest NBA draft busts of all time. He stands as one example of young talented phenoms who never lived up to their hype. However, his situation as a Washington Wizard certainly wasn’t helped by the general manager who drafted him. In a Sports Illustrated article by L. Jon Wertheim: As a leader Jordan proved more tormentor than mentor. Many Washington players got the business end of a Jordan harangue, but he designated second-year forward Kwame Brown as the whipping boy…A source told SI that Jordan ritually reduced Brown to tears in front of the team. The article continues that Jordan called Kwame Brown expletives, including homophobic remarks, according to The Washington Post.

POOR CHARLES BARKLEY

The 1993 NBA Finals was a showdown between two of NBA’s biggest superstars of all time: Charles Barkley of the Phoenix Suns and Michael Jordan of the Bulls. They were also great friends who went golfing together in the middle of the championship series. According to Bulls assistant coach Johnny Bach: The day before game 4 of the Bulls Suns finals with the Bulls leading the series 2-1. Michael and Charles Barkley went golfing. They played 48 holes of golf. And Michael bought Charles a $20,000 diamond earring. Johnny asked MJ, “what did you do all that for?” Michael responded, “he won’t get in my way the rest of the series, what’s $20,000 to me? Charles thinks we’re great friends. I hate that fat f—.” Jordan dropped 55 in game 4 and Barkley never touched him once.

Another example of MJ parring off one of his supposed best friends is below, something that he vehemently denied after Pip snitched on him. Seems far more believable now though.

And finally, his Hall Of Fame Induction speech is the icing on the cake. He's still a legend, he'll always be a legend, but lord almighty the man sounds like an insufferable prick . Test below lifted from an article by Rick Reilly @ ESPN.com. Full piece HERE.

Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame talk was the Exxon Valdez of speeches. It was, by turns, rude, vindictive and flammable. And that was just when he was trying to be funny. It was tactless, egotistical and unbecoming. When it was done, nobody wanted to be like Mike. In the entire 23-minute cringe-athon, there were only six thank yous, seven if you count his sarcastic rip at the very Hall that was inducting him. "Thank you, Hall of Fame, for raising ticket prices, I guess," he sneered.

By comparison, David Robinson's classy and heartfelt seven-minute speech had 17. Joe Montana's even shorter speech in Canton had 23. Who wrote your speech Mike? Kanye West? Nobody was spared, including his high school coach, his high school teammate, his college coach, two of his pro coaches, his college roommate, his pro owner, his pro general manager, the man who was presenting him that evening, even his kids! "I wouldn't want to be you guys if I had to," he said as they squirmed in their seats.

Next Up To Bat

Theres some really good underground Hip Hop coming out right now, seemingly trending toward the Lo Fi sound what with so much super crispy Dr Dre sounding stuff coming out left right and centre. I like it. Below is a couple of joints from relative newcomers Mr Motherfuckin' eXquire & Quelle Chris, both of whom have projects available for free that you can find if you look hard enough, which won't have to be that hard at all. Peep.


Mr Motherfuckin' eXquire

Huzzah!


Huzzah! Remix


Quelle Chris - SON



... And although neither of these cats (with the possible exception of Danny Brown) are 'new, their new EP 'Black & Brown' is a fucking banger, with this being my favourite jam. Go BUY that. Highly recommended.

Black Milk & Danny Brown - Jordan VIII

New Beatnik Feature. I'm Ballin'.

^ All day baby.

Less of an interview/review, seemingly more of a kind off off-the-wall psych profile, Beatnik Online have just posted a little piece about me here. Go peep that. Words by Rob Boffard, flicks courtesy of Romain Kedochim. I wore new Jordans just for the occasion too.

2 points that were incorrect in this write up - A) I most certainly AM the best rapper out of the FU Music camp and B) my inside game is INCREDIBLE. I don't know what Rob was talking about there, his fingers must have slipped on the keyboard. Dont test the kid on the court.... although you wouldnt really get a chance, as my knees and ankles are legitimately fucked, but with a few hundred quids worth of straps, supports and bandages I'm a regular Bill Wennington haha.

Have a read. At the very least you can't say im lying when I say say that 'my life is real'.


PS - To any aspiring battle rappers who might be reading this, try harder.

The Vintage Vaults - Nike Hoop Heroes

Does anyone remember this line of clothing? I remember copping these when I was about 12 or 13 on a trip to Malta with the fam. The hat is classic 90's, i.e. a sickly combination of organic and pastel colours that make you want to hurl, but seeing as Scottie Pippen and Charles Barkley were two of my favourite players alongside MJ I appreciated that they were given the same amount of shine on this clothing line. This holiday and the subsequent purchases came shortly after Scottie Pippen took the MVP award at the 1994 All Star game, a game I remember very well for 2 reasons - Shaq was completely locked out of the game, scoring fuck all points and Scottie wore the all red Nike Air Flights that he wasn't allowed to rock during the regular season (much like MJ's black and red ones).



The reason I remember this so well is that during this trip to Malta I actually saw the red kicks in a shop and begged my old dear to buy them for me, which she of course refused, and with good reason. However, with me chipping in whatever money I had a compromise was reached, which saw me not only copping the hat but a matching T shirt to go with it. Due to my hoarding tendencies and the ever abundant space of THE PIRANHA TANK, these items still exist to this day. Cheers Dad.






However, despite the dopeness/grotesque nature of the hat, it really is the T shirt that takes the biscuit. The artwork is by a geezer called Mark Ryden... Ive googled him but no dice. The thing that bugs me more than A) The fact this t shirt is faded to fuck and no longer fits me B) Ive obviously used it as some sort of cleaning rag (hence the black marks) and C) B, is that I can't for the life of me remember OR find any evidence to suggest that similar illustrated garms were manufactured to depict Pippen, Barkley and Hardaway in similar situations. I would literally cut off your right arm for a set of all 4 in good condition. Observe -






See what I mean on the fade? It's fucking heart breaking. Still, when I was 12 years old, I wasnt thinking about the future, plus I could only rock this joint if I had one of those faggoty skinny skater boy physiques, and I don't. Still, I'm well within my rights to be cheesed off. If ANYONE OUT THERE READING THIS can at the very least point me towards any existing illustrtions like this one I would be most appreciative.

As an aside but essentially the whole reason I wrote this post, I Googled 'Nike Hoop Heroes' and this is one of the results that came up. Anyone want to buy a hat? Holla at me.

Taken from http://brianprocell.bigcartel.com/product/nike-hoop-heroes



You kids and your 'snap backs'. In my day we called them hats. Ive still got a bunch of original starter joints and some fake joints that i got whilst on various holidays. Are they really worth $200 a pop?

HOLLA

***EDIT***

Found a website for Mark Ryden. No mention of the Hoop Heroes work but im going to holla at him and see if i get a response. http://www.markryden.com/

Random photo from the Hoop Heroes tour, mid 90's I assume, I can see Pip and Charles Barkley in there at least. HERE

Also -

Thats What Eye See #12 - Spike Lee's Bin

Great film. Great bin.



As an added bonus, here's the classic scene where Buggin Out gets his new Jordan 4's fucked up by Larry Bird.

Geeking Out With The Space Jam Triple Play Action Set

I've been off my geek tip for a while but I'm coming back hardbody son, real talk. As you all know, I am an avid fan of Michael Jordan, from his skills as a basketball player to the fact he essentially created the greatest line in training shoes EVER. This is an undebatable fact.

So, as an avid fan, it would only be right for me to own Michael Jordan action figures, right? Right. Peep the Space Jam Triple Play Action Set.



Triple play action? Ok, so he's playing three sports, but the figures are not posable in any way, shape or form so I fail to see where the 'action' part comes in. I like the golf one the best, seeing as its completely irrelevant and unrelated to his career, as golf was/is simply an enjoyable pastime for him. It would be like buying a 'Rick Ross Triple Play Action Set', where one figure is rapping, the other figure is shotting coke and the third figure is sitting on the shitter reading a Danielle Steel novel.

Bought at a car boot for 20p many moons ago, in case you were wondering.

HAPPY ST PIRAN'S DAY

That's right motherfuckers, today is the greatest day of the year, the day on which we celebrate the patron saint of my native land, Cornwall. Big up St. Piran. Today will involve random booze drinking and pasty eating. You can quote me on that.

I'm going to be rocking my traditional St Piran's day uniform today, namely the Cornwall rugby with the Bumblebee Jordan 1's and the P fitted my boy PG copped for me at Christmas (The 'P' can stand for Piran or Pirates Of Penzance, its a p p preference ting).

And below you can see me hijacking St. Patrick's day a couple years back by celebrating St. Piran's Day for the 2nd time that month. Ballin.





Kernow Bys Vyken motherfucker

If You Like Basketball, Watch This

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I Would STILL Rock These....

How anybody could neglect a pair so horribly is beyond me. They're probably originals as well.

How Many Of Us Have Them?

Friends. How many of us really have them? I am truly blessed by having some really, really good ones. Maybe even better than yours. For this reason, I want to send a big peace and shout out to my brother PG AKA Mick Glacier who, for no reason whatsoever other than him being a complete legend, put a £0.90 pence bid on ebay on four Michael Jordan VHS for me without my knowledge and consequently won them. What a motherfucking boss. PG is getting hitched this year and I'm the best man at the wedding so this amazing and thoughtful act of generosity will be repaid by me removing one of the planned Romanian transexual hooker anecdotes from my speech. Only one though.

Cheers Peej.

The Spoils

Michael Jordan : 23 Years

Contrary to what you may otherwise think I am not just a fan of the man's brand of shoes but I am also a massive fan of Basketball in general; it just so happens that Michael Jordan is A) the greatest player EVER and B) inspired the creation of the greatest training shoe EVER. I'm not going to drone on about his achievements etc etc, needless to say all you need to do is watch this video below. Entitled '23 Years', it documents, bullet point style, the man's sporting life over that very same period (and 23 just happens to be the number that he wore on his jersey - see what they did there?).

I believe it was made by the US sporting channel ESPN but who cares anyway, just watch it, its a whole bunch of dopeness compacted into about 7 minutes. Oh, and shout to my man Daps who watched Jordan PLAY AT CHICAGO STADIUM IN THE STATES DURING THE 1992 PLAYOFFS and described the experience as "boring". Harald Gloockler would NOT approve.

Jordan Brand Drops 'Black History Month 3s'.... Sean Price says "The Price Is WRONG"

This is for all of my hardcore geek sneaker heads. If you don't like Air Jordans then there is more than likely very little point in you reading any further. You have been warned.

Right, now we've got that out of the way, if you consider yourself a real geek for the sneaks then you will A) appreciate Air Jordans as being some of, if not THE finest training shoe ever created and B) know that the Air Jordan Cement III's are being reissued, coming out tomorrow. 22/01/2011. TOMORROW.




I'm sure you'll agree that these babies are absolutely stunning. If you don't agree, actually fuck off completely. I have never owned a pair of the cement 3s but do own a couple pairs of the royal blue joints, the first of which were bought for me for my 20th birthday by my ex ex girl and that I still own to this day. I actually took them on a round the world trip recently, intent on copping myself a new pair of kicks and disposing of them in the process. I did cop a new pair (brand new, AUTHENTIC Jordan 1s in Vietnam for £14 - BOOM) but still couldn't bear to let go of my very first pair, such are the rosy memories involved.

Observe -




Nearly 10 years old. As you can see, these poor bastards are literally falling to pieces. I had to get some dude at a train station in New Dehli to sew the soles back on, they're that far gone (he tried to rob $100 off me, but thats another story). They have also acquired a rather delightful 'Aladdin Upgrade' (the upward curling of the toe, found on many well worn pairs of kicks across the globe), have lost nearly all comfort and are the colour of a chain smokers teeth. But I can't bring myself to dispose of them.

To offset this heartbreak, in September 2009 (just before I went travelling) I copped a brand new pair that, like my cassette collection, sit in my Dad's attic. Unworn, untouched, still in the box. BEAUTY.



Anyway, I've digressed far enough. This go round, The Jordan Brand have 'cleverly' released the 'Black History Month' Jordan 3s to coincide with.....ummmm.... well, to coincide with Black History Month. Pretty snazzy, not really my cup of tea and will probably be going for 3 times the price of a normal pair, these are for the die hard buy-kicks-to-not-wear-them types.

Peep -






Images jacked from http://solecollector.com/Sneakers/News/Air-Jordan-Retro-3--Black-History-Month--New-Images1/

They're alright. I won't be copping, Id much prefer a pair of the cements in black. Now, the only reason I even found about this release is because the God Body Sean Price (of the world famous Boot Camp Click, also appearing on MY ALBUM which you MUST COP), an incredible rapper/character/sneaker head and original member of the infamous Brooklyn street gang The Decepticons (mainly known for dishing out beatings and the subsequent robbery of the victim's personal effects) posted them up on his Twitter feed and then continued on a hilarious and insightful rant incorporating social commentary, nostalgic memories and a special nod to Spike Lee. What follows is a selection of his musings, mainly written in capitals. FOR EMPHASIS. P!


You can go follow Sean Price on Twitter, @SeanMandela (recommended).


"FOR BLACK HISTORY MONTH ALL JORDANS SHOULD BE AFFORDABLE"

"IM FROM BROWNSVILLE 200 AND UP FOR SNEAKERS IS BEZERK SHIT 150 IS A LOT DO U KNOW WHAT KIDS DO FOR SNEAKER THEY CANT AFFORD IN BVILLE?"

"WE USED 2 TAKE SNEAKERS ...OFF PEOPLE'S FEET"

"THE SAFEST PLACE 2 GET JORDANS IN NY IS BROWNSVILLE CAUSE WE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE"

"WHEN JORDAN 1'S CAME OUT MY MOMS COPPED ME PONY CITY WINGS WIT THE JORDAN COLORWAY #PISSEDOFF"

"THE 1ST NIGGA KILLED 4 A 8 BALL JACKET WAS FROM LANGSTON HUGHES PJ'S IN BVILLE HE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE"

"LOT OF PEOPLE IN BVILLE WORE LOTTOS CAUSE U CAN CHANGE THE COLOR ON THE LOGO ....VELCRO PATCH MADE U LOOK LIKE U HAD A COUPLE PAIR"

"A FOOT DR COULD WRITE U A PRESCRIPTION FOR PUMA INVADERS WHEN I WAS YOUNGER"

"I GOT MY WIZ THE YEAR OF THE PIG DUNKS ONCE I CONVERTED I BANNED HER FROM WEARING EM"

"SPIKE LEE 40 ACRES AND A MULE JACKET AND HAT WAS 4 WHITE PEOPLE NONE OF MY NIGGAZ COULD AFFORD THAT SHIT WHEN IT CAME OUT #POW!!!"

Now peep this. 'Songs In The Key Of Price' (mixtape), Random Axe LP (with Black Milk & Guilty Simpson) and his new solo joint 'Mic Tyson' dropping SOON. I can't wait.