Rap Ain't Real, My Life Is Real: March 2014

Thursday, 13 March 2014

Random White Basketball Players Vol. 4

BOOM!!!! Back up in this bitch. Seeing as the last time I hit you with a Random White Basketball player was 27/10/2011 I thought it only right that I resurrect this excellent segment with some style and flair. Ladies and germs, I proudly present to you -

RANDY BREUER!!!!!!!!

Not only does this guy have the best name ever he is also clearly rating a 9.5 on the sexy scale (pause). Lets take a look at his career statistics -

No. 45
Center
Personal information
Born	October 11, 1960 (age 53) Lake City, Minnesota
Nationality	American
Listed height	7 ft 3 in (221 cm)
Listed weight	230 lb (104 kg)
Career information
High school	Lincoln (Lake City, Minnesota)
College	Minnesota (1979–1983)
NBA draft	1983 / Round: 1 / Pick: 18th overall
Selected by the Milwaukee Bucks
Pro playing career	1983–1994
Career history
1983–1990	Milwaukee Bucks
1990–1992	Minnesota Timberwolves
1992–1993	Atlanta Hawks
1993–1994	Sacramento Kings
Career highlights and awards
Minnesota Mr. Basketball (1979)
Career statistics
Points	4,599 (6.8 ppg)
Rebounds	2,986 (4.4 rpg)
Blocks	750 (1.1 bpg)
Stats at Basketball-Reference.com

Pretty FUCKING impressive, I'm sure you'll agree. And just look at those completely muscle-less arms, the partial hair covering the muscle-less arms and stupid fucking look on his face! Lets hear it for RANDY BREUER guys!

Thursday, 6 March 2014

Lord Finesse @ THE PUB - Rarekind Records Xmas Party 06/12/2013

On Friday 6^th December the good people at Rarekind Records (assisted by Slice Of Spice) hosted their inaugural Christmas Party at The Black Lion Pub in Brighton. I’m not sure why the pub is called ‘The Black Lion’ to be honest… I think ‘The Meat Market’ or ‘The Shooting Gallery’ or ‘Quench Thy Thirst’ would be far more apt names as on any given night you can encounter the thirstiest of the thirsty up in that bitch. Men and women so very thirsty that they would put that Salvadorian bird-and-turtle-blood drinking fisherman castaway dude to shame.

MEAT MARKET (Pause)

The place should be sponsored by Sprite; ‘The Black Lion : Obey Your Thirst’. That’s what it should say over the door. I love it in that place. Even someone such as myself who, in terms of thirst, retains as much water as a camel or a large cactus in the middle of a blistering heat wave starts feeling parched up in that joint. The place just cultivates thirst. Imagine Mo Farah running a desert marathon with his only refreshment option being a bag ready salted crisps WITH EXTRA SALT. Damn it all to hell guys, we’re talking about real THIRST here.

Anyway, I digress. The only thing better than seeing Lord Finesse live is seeing Lord Finesse live, at Christmas time, for FREE, in your LOCAL BOOZER. No rapping, just back to back bangers and chicks dancing. Craziness. I was hosting this little shindig (which, for my part, was sponsored by Mandy and grossly overpriced Gin and tonics) and by the end of the night I was literally dancing on the fucking tables.

A Hip Hop Legend DJing At The Local Boozer.

Boogie Blind (who is possibly one of the coolest dudes to ever live) was there also but didn’t play because Finesse was having too much fun. We ducked out with Neil B for a doobie instead. All the heads were inside and it was a right old knees up.

Boogie, Me, Neil B

At the end of the night I got my fan boy swag on and copped a flick with Lord Finesse himself. He then gave me his bottle of Hennessey. Merry Fucking Christmas.